I'm a mom! Now what?

I reacently had someone ask me the question, What should every first time mom know?

This made me think back to the time I was nearing my due date with Juliette. I had read several books, registered at Babies R Us, had a couple of baby showers and prepared myself in every way that I could think of for the arrival of my sweet baby girl. I awaited the big day with pure anticipation. I could hardly wait to hold my new baby in my arms, and finally be comfortable again. Little did I know how much easier it would be to take care of a baby inside me than outside.

I often wonder if other new moms experiences would be anything like mine. Before the birth of my first baby, I had been alerted by countless people, that I should expect life to never be the same again and that it was going to be really hard, but totally worth it. I felt like saying, Duh! I know! I'm having a baby! But while I received the adivce that things were going to be difficult, I quickly came to realize that they never told me the details of just how hard having a baby would be.

I felt a little betrayed by my mother and sisters. As the youngest child I would have expected a little more forewarning of what to expect. And I'm not even talking about the delivery. At least there were doctors and nurses there to help me and be the expert. I had little to no knowledge about all the little things like engorgement and nursing problems, fatigue and chronic bewilderment, and the total loss of any sense of control I had over my life. I had never before experienced anything like this new life I had signed up for.

A few of the most difficult feelings for me were those of loneliness, a sense that I had to shoulder the burden myself, and utter incompetence. I thought that surely my sisters and mother would laugh at me if they knew what a difficult time I was having. I looked at the women in my family as the pillars of motherhood, and I never saw any of them having the difficulites I was experiencing.

I dreaded every morning when Jeff would leave for work, because then I was forced to be the expert on how to take care of my baby. Some days, the unrelenting dependence of that tiny creature seemed more than I could bear.

Thankfully, I did adjust eventually, and now four years and two children later, I'm happy to report that I no longer find newborn babies to be intimidating. In fact, I think they are wonderful. It is such a sweet time to cherish. (But four year olds...?)

There are so many new, uncomfortable feelings and unique struggles that can come along with a first baby. I don't know if a new mother can ever really know what awaits her. I don't know if there is anything you could say to a new mom to prepare her for both the stress and success that she will feel. It is all part of the motherhood process. It is something you have to experience for yourself. Because there is truly nothing harder or better than being a mother.